Pye Green 4 Monyhull Church 1

Pye Green pie eyed as the hull let them fill their boots.

Yet another poor display from a Monyhull team that was more rusty than a ten year old Austin Metro (substitute old banger of your choice youngsters). After several cancellations it was always likely the hull would be slow to get going last Saturday, but this performance was so slow it made mad dog Pickett look like a Formula 1 superstar.

The 'hulls neat passing game was easily interrupted by the Pye Green midfield who were on their toes and quick to put pressure on anyone who dwelt on the ball. The attacks were coming relentlessly like students to a kebab shop on a Friday night as the hull could not keep the ball long enough to get it out of their own half. But the defence were resolute, standing firm as wave after wave of attacks broke upon them, undaunted and undented apart from Dave’s cheekbone which did at least shut him up.

But, like all good things, The Jam, A day in the life of Ivan Denisovitch, an Alistair Cook innings, it had to come to an end. And just like an Alistair Cook innings, the defence claim not out (or at least not our fault) as shocking marking from a corner saw a Pye Green player most noticeable for being even shorter than the hull’s midfield able to head home without any challenge. The hull culprit kept his head down.

Keen to show their versatility the hull quickly went 2 down as from another corner five hull players forgot about the man they were supposed to be marking and followed the ball across to the far post like border collies playing fetch, where it was headed back across goal for the same Pye Green player to head his second goal, again completely unmarked. By versatility I mean that this time it took two headers to score, and Gaffer Millist owned up to being the marker caught out (actually I was marking the first player, not the scorer – that was a defensive problem! JM).

Thanks to some more decent defence the hull held out till half time, and the back four were able to look forward to playing on the pristine untouched turf at the other end of the pitch. It wasn’t all bad, though, Hales was looking a threat on the right wing and was able to put in a series of crosses that would have been dangerous if anyone had got anywhere near them. Burke, more mole than man, was chasing everything to get a tackle in.

But then it got worse again, A free kick was swung in, the otherwise reliable custodian Webber flapped like a teenager asked to eat a brussel sprout, surprise surprise the hull defenders all stopped to have a look, maybe a cup of tea and a slice of cake, and once more a Pye Green player was left to score unchallenged.

Then, believe it or not, just for a while, it all started to get better, the hull started to keep the ball and pass it around. Pye Green were under a bit of pressure. Then a storming 40 yard run from Langston saw him in position to slot home a well deserved goal from an excellent cross, before Gaffer Millist stole in ahead to deny him a second goal in twelve seasons as he scuffed it home from several inches out (defence too far forward? The shock of it! JM).

As the clock ticked away Pye Green were able to make it 4 with a powerful shot, and this time under a bit of pressure which was a pleasant change.A session on defending corners is planned.

It could have been worse, Pye Green once again sprung the offside trap and Millist, having tracked the runner, managed to throw an arm onto the ball after a push. The resulting penalty was saved by a sprawling Webber who pushed away from danger to restore some pride for the 'hull.

Too many players having an off day.