Monyhull 0 Living Hope 5

Where to start with this one? The left hand side of the team were all fairly average, even Big Ron had a poor game by his standards letting a couple of balls go over his head and capping it with an own goal. I’d have to admit that I’d still take a poor game from him over the average one from me.

Unfortunately that is as good as this report gets, the right side of the team had what I believe my son would call an absolute munter with four of the five goals coming down that flank. Gaz possibly suffering from his thirtieth birthday celebrations was turning like an oil tanker, mad dog Pickett was tackling like a spaniel and it was only because they were taken off with me that I could remember that Tom B and Ryan were even on the field.

The goals were similarly soft, two deflections, an own goal and one I can’t even remember. It wasn’t until I was taken off for Wiggy on the hour that we looked remotely threatening as he set up a number of attacks and was continuously overlapping his winger. I don’t think we even bothered with a man of the match, but for me it would be Mark for that ½ an hour.

So, instead, after many requests from John not to be so modest in my match reports, I will dedicate the rest of this to:

MAGNIFICENT LANGSTON
It probably all started for me with my first memory of being taken to a game of football by my dad back in the mid seventies, at the tender age of around -10 by my current reckoning. On that day I saw footballing legends Bobby Moore and George Best turn out for Fulham, and ever since many have said how much I have in common with them, two arms, two legs, one nose, and of course the love of a good pint. In my prime it was often observed that I could beat four defenders, turn round and do it again before slotting the ball into the corner of the net like Moore, and take out a big centre forward like Best.

My teachers predicted a bright future – he might make a fairly average technician in a hospital they would say. Might even be able to play a few games for a bottom of the league team, and how right they were as I fulfilled all that potential.

But rather than produce an autobiography, I thought the best tributes would come from my own team mates, although because I couldn’t be bothered to actually ask them, I am just writing what I am sure they would answer.

Manager Millist said of his longstanding team mate, “what Pete doesn’t know about defending isn’t worth knowing, and there was me” he said with a chuckle “critisizing his positioning when I don’t even know where the goal is.” Captain Dan took over  “the man is a legend” he said, “when Pete is in the team I always know the defence will be far more secure” “yes, “ said Webber “Pete is just a class above the likes of me, I try to aspire after him in every way. Not just on the pitch, but he is such a fine example off it as well, a real mentor to the younger men”.  Rob joined in “I love playing alongside Pete, he just makes me look so good, I can commit myself to the challenge knowing he will be there to clear up if necessary, what a star” “ I really hope he will be turning out next season” said all three Toms simultaneously. I tried to bring Keiran in at this point but he had stormed off at not getting a word in earlier, so in the end I left the final word to Matt “My dad is just brilliant he said, I really want to grow up to be like him.”

Well, fine words for the last competitive match of the Hulls first season. Friendly against Bridge Blokes this weekend, lets finish with a win, but lets be equally sure that if we turn out like we did last Saturday we will be beaten. Confidence yes, but that has got to be coupled with some hard work, tackling,  chasing back, covering runners, all the hard unatractive things so that we earn the right to play a bit of football as well.